Famous Philosophers’ Zoom Meeting Goes Sideways

Horace, Seneca and the gang rip each other’s self-help mottos

Images by everesd_design from Pixabay, Daniela Ruiz from Pexels and various Wiki (Fair Use), altered.

Host: Welcome, everyone, to today’s meeting on Zoom. Let’s get right down to deciding the most useful self-help motto of all time so we can get back to partying in the Elysian fields. Socrates is off sick. Horace, you have the floor.

(Silence)

Host: Horace? Unmute yourself.

Horace: Sorry, sorry. I was saying I hope we can all get behind Carpe Diem as the best motto so we can get out of here and, ahem, Seize the Day.

Marcus Aurelius: Whoa. I’d say Carpe Diem has had its day. It’s morphed into a McMotto now. Like YOLO. Or Just Do It. Hedonistic kiddie catchphrases.

Horace: So it’s popular. So what?

Marcus Aurelius: So… I’d suggest Memento Mori: “Remember you are going to die.” It has more gravitas.

Seneca: I’ll second that. Hey Marcus, how’d you get that awesome skull background?

Marcus A.: Piece of cake. Just click Settings, Virtual Background and then click the + icon to upload —

Seneca: I don’t see a + icon. Are you on a Mac?

Host: Never mind the virtual backgrounds, people. Stay on topic.