Financial Terms: A (Probably Right?) Index for New Investors
Though investing can feel difficult to break into, the key to it is understanding what you’re doing with your money. Here are a few terms to get familiar with before you dive into the market.
Commodities — Old-timey toilets we throw money into.
Appreciation — When you clap for your money.
Inflation — When money gets really big (i.e. Fat Money).
Liquidity — Money can be a gas, solid, or liquid. This is the state in which money is drinkable.
(ex. When Scrooge McDuck dives into his money pool — that is liquid)
Market Cap — A little hat you put on the top of the market.
Portfolio— The folio on the left.
Bonds — The place where you invest your moneypennys.
Current Asset — An asset filled with raisins.
Debenture — Where you look when you can’t find your money in de couch.
Money Laundering — When you wash your pants with some cash in them and two weeks later you find a very clean 20 bucks in your pocket.
Cash Flow — This can be heavy or light and easily stopped with a tampon.
Gross Profit — The absolute most disgusting part of your money.
Liability — How good you are at lying about how much you make.
Credit line — Snortable credit.
Unsecured Loan — A loan that doesn’t wear its seatbelt.
Net Worth — Pretty self-explanatory: How many nets you’re worth.
Free Market — One day a year when you can get money for free from outdoor vendors.
Compounding — This is when you know you’re really in deep trouble. If you owe a lot of money, the collectors will compounding on your door.
Maturity Date — The year your money will be perfectly drinkable.
Inception Date — July 13, 2010.
