Frequently Asked Questions About Our Creek-To-Cup(tm) Raw Water Delivery Service
Welcome to the all-natural, back-to-the-pond hydration movement! We’re honored that you chose to partner with us. There is nothing more important than intuitive self-care — and we take this privilege very seriously.
“How fresh is my Raw Water upon delivery?”
Our Creek-to-Cup(tm) delivery system will furnish you with artisanally harvested Raw Water near the peak of its freshness, at any frequency you require. In most metro areas, we guarantee a delay of no more than nine hours between harvest and dropoff.
Our delivery trucks are equipped with anti-shock systems that protect Raw Water from the effects of start-stop traffic, rapid turns, and incompatible moon phases. Our techs — the gentlest in the business — are trained to handle Raw Water with respect and never, ever shake the containers. Ever. You’ll receive only the finest, most stable raw hydration that nature has to offer.
“Why doesn’t your label include nutritional information?”
Those ugly, black-and-white, government-mandated labels are no substitute for the wisdom of our senses. Think of Raw Water as elemental nutrition, much like the produce you can buy in abundance at farmers’ markets, kissed with damp soil.
“Where does the color come from?”
From time to time, you’ll notice a pleasant tint in your Raw Water delivery. The coloration is a sign of healthy balance in naturally sourced waters: it’s a byproduct of the microbiome unique to every container. (You’ll certainly never find it in overprocessed, chemically-deadened water from a tap!)
Some lucky patrons report lightly thickened, brownish masses that settle to the bottom of the container after a few days. Great news — it means that Raw Water thrives in your environment! Keep your container in the same configuration of position, ley line, and ambient temperature for best results. For special occasions, add a teaspoon of “mother” from a jar of organic apple cider vinegar. It’ll nurture the protozoa and aid digestion.
(Do not stir.)
“How do you ensure the safety of your product?”
Raw Water is exposed to no added contamination risk at any point in the Creek-to-Cup(tm) supply chain. We sterilize every container, and our artisanal bottling process (right at the source, in the heart of nature) does not expose Raw Water to peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, egg, or soy particulates. We’re also in the process of obtaining organic and gluten-free certification.
(FRIENDLY REMINDER: According to our standard waiver, when you take possession of any Raw Water delivery, you assume full responsibility for its subsequent care and handling. Please move Raw Water as infrequently as possible.)
“Can I make tea with Raw Water?”
Drinking tea is a wonderful way to reap the benefits of Raw Water! You’ll enjoy the antioxidant boost and perhaps lose a little weight. According to experts, drinking at least two cups of Raw Water tea each day might also reduce your risk of dying from heart attack or stroke.
Remember, though, that boiling Raw Water will remove much of its flavor and nutritional benefit. For example, the mineral Gullibilium is very sensitive to temperature. (It is also very sensitive to movement. Avoid disrupting Raw Water in any significant way.)
Many of our customers prefer the “sun tea” method. Decant Raw Water tenderly into a Mason jar with some organic herbs or virgin tea leaves, leave the lid slightly loose, and set the jar outdoors in a sunny spot. (Be sure to use a jar that has never had fairy lights or other craft items inside it; they can disrupt its energy flow.)
For preparing hot teas and tisanes on cloudy days, invest in a temperature-controlled electric kettle (approx. $220 from select retailers). Keep the temperature below 170 degrees at all times, and step back from the unit for at least two minutes after it reaches peak temperature.
If you aren’t in a hurry, consider cold-brewing your tea in the fridge overnight. For an extra vitamin boost, thaw some chicken in the same pitcher.
(IMPORTANT: Stir only when absolutely necessary. Never shake any vessel of Raw Water.)
“Can I bathe in Raw Water?”
Raw Water is perfect for personal refreshment. Try a “top-n-tails” spot-wash on the go, or spritz it on your facial skin for a healthy glow. (Avoid contact with eyes.)
For ceremonial purposes, carry a vial of Raw Water with you at all times, perhaps in a pendant worn against your skin. All you’ll need is a dab on the forehead or chest. If you’re an apothecary or shaman with immersion-specific needs, contact us for bulk pricing.
(Do not apply Raw Water to children or infants. Do not splash or flick. Never jog with Raw Water.)
“My container of Raw Water has a crack. How can I get a replacement?”
Did you shake it? As the waiver states, we regret that we cannot issue refunds or replacements for containers that have been shaken.
(Disposal instructions: Place the container outside at a safe distance, remove the lid, then leave the property for a few days. When the remaining Raw Water has evaporated, move the container to the curb for recycling pickup. Do not speak of it again.)
