Gamer’s Showcase For An Epic Game That Everyone Will Totally Want To Play
Hello gamers! I’m the president of Mega Ultra Gamers Co. and welcome to the showcase for Puzzle Slasher RPG Battle Royal Shooter. We have a lot of updates to share with you today, so let’s get rolling!
Playable Platforms
First, we’ll announce the platforms for PSRBRS (pronounced P-serbs). The game will be on all the newest generation consoles coming out in two years. If you’re wondering if we will be releasing PSRBRS on this generation’s consoles the answer is NO. Don’t continue watching this showcase if you have the PS5 or Xbox Series S. This game has been developed to run on the PS7 and Xbox Series SOS, hardware so advanced that it hasn’t even been conceived in dreams, let alone reality. Come back when you’re more healthily employed and have vital liquid assets to spare!
Difficulty Modes
We at Mega Ultra Gamers Co. pride ourselves on serving only the hardcorest of gamers. So, Puzzle Slasher RPG Battle Royal shooter will only have a Hard mode and an Insane Mode. Easier modes are for non-gamers and here at Mega Ultra Gamers Co. we make games for gamers. If you want an easy mode so you can “enjoy the story” or “for accessibility” then you’ve come to the wrong place non-gamer. The bingo hall is still taking players if you want something slow-paced.
Romance & Bonding Mechanic
As in our title, PSRBRS will also have romance options and bonding events for the main character to pursue. We at Mega Ultra Gamers Co. pride ourselves on listening to our players and delivering believable characters for a wide range of representation. PSRBRS will have two, count ’em TWO, LGBTQ characters that you can bond with (the romance route will not be available for these characters however). All other options will be female with the sparkling personalities of glittered cardboard and it doesn’t matter what you say to them, you can always end up romancing one by the end!
Online Play Services
Online play for the game will be available to those willing to pay the $60/month for our questionable internet service. If you would like to play other games from your account, it is an extra three dollars per game tacked on to the monthly fee. If you would like to cancel your subscription please clear your calendar for five hours and call our customer service number.
DLC & Merchandise
Mega Ultra Gamers Co. also wishes to bring gamers the most complete and valuable gaming experience on Puzzle Slasher RPG Battle Royal Shooter. However, that costs time and resources, so we announce our Super Mega DLC bundle coming out in 2028! It includes multiple vital story plots, unlockable weapons, game patches for game breaking bugs, and more. Merch will also be available in our stores for triple digit prices or the blood of your firstborn. Can’t afford that? Then don’t worry! We are also introducing our new NFT collection of our characters. Buy an NFT and own a piece of the game that absolutely no one can own ever as long as they don’t have a working computer or phone to screenshot it. All proceeds will be going to the Clobber Climate Change Foundation so we can figure out what’s negatively impacting our environment and consuming huge amounts of energy.
Heartfelt Send-Off
Before we go, we want to say that we value our team that worked 80 hour weeks with no breaks and didn’t see their families for months during this game’s conception. As a thank you to them we want to announce a special function that you can buy in game. If you go to the game’s shop, there is an emote that allows your characters to say “Thanks Devs!” every time they press the “Q” key or R3 on the controller. Each emote will come with a complicated animation that our devs will be happy to program for you because of your thanks!
Thanks for attending the presentation and showing your support! You won’t hear from me again until the next hype event or a catastrophic PR mismanagement. But for now: LET’S MAKE SOME NOISE GAMERS!
