Gritty Action Reboots Of Your Favorite Classic Novels
“Say hello to my Little Women.”
Moby Dick: One man, one whale, one unforgettable chase
The navy’s latest experiment has escaped: a mega submarine missile called Moby Dick. There’s only one man that can stop it before it hits Russia and kicks off World War III: Special Agent Ahab.
Great Expectations: Expectations are about to get a whole lot lower
An orphan named Pip apprentices at a UFC gym, learning the art of being a gentleman… in the Octagon.
Jane Eyre: The woman of the house is about to get a lot hotter
Jane is a gun-toting nanny in leather bodysuits who must escape the Rochester house with only her bullets, her books, and a candle. Since dudes wrote the reboot, she also hooks up with the woman in the attic.
Oliver Twist: Please, sir, can I have some more… pain?
Oliver’s mother was taken from him by the notorious gang leader “Childbirth,” and he’s ready to avenge her untimely death. As an underdog orphan, Oliver gets so buff that he can break anyone’s limbs just by twisting them, earning him the nickname “Twist.” He roams the streets of London trying to find Childbirth, pickpocketing anyone in his path.
The Great Gatsby: Long Island’s about to get hit, head-on
A classic New York tale gone rogue. A socialite and his observant friend take on the seedy underbelly of Long Island’s party community to save the beautiful Daisy Buchanon from a horrible fate: motherhood. They’ll bust up a few parties (and a few bumpers) along the way.
The Scarlet Letter: “A” is for Action
In a near dystopian future run by Puritan leaders, all women have been branded with the first letter of their sins. The CIA recruits a young Hester Prynne to gain intel on the Puritan society from the inside. One problem with slipping under the radar: she’s been branded as an adulterer by her entire community. Prynne must collect the information her agency needs before she’s taken down by the corrupt leaders.
A Christmas Carol: Merry Christmas, bitch
In a grisly steampunk world, retired cyborg agent ‘Nez Scrooge must defeat the bosses of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, accompanied by his sidekick, Tiny Tim. But can he defeat the biggest boss of all: Greed?
Gone with the Wind: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Van-Damme
Jean-Claude Van-Damme stars as himself as he emerges from a mushroom cloud over a plantation, carrying Scarlett O’Hara. That’s the whole movie.
