Ground Rules for my MAN COVE
Guys! I finally put the final touches on my Man Cove! That’s right: I’ve hung the rad gas station poster of super-hot babes, set up a weight bench for the little work-out area, and made contact with the mer-people (or, in their tongue, the “Oin’Sídh”), which means it’s ready for some quality MAN time. Just be sure to heed these ground rules, OK dudes?
- My cove, my rules!
- Chill vibes only!
- The only drinks allowed are beer, scotch, and “thalasse aerunn,” a sort of sea-scotch distilled by the mer-folk.
- No talking about work!
- No fishing! The Oin’Sídh rightly consider it a violation of their domain!
- Burp it out, itch that sack, do whatever you gotta do! Comfort is king!
- No following faerie lights underwater during a full Moon! The faerie-kind resent the mer-folk, and seek to harm their friends, since they dare not risk open war. On full Moons, the barrier between our world and Mag Findargat (the faerie-realm) thins in certain places, like my man cove, and ‘t is best to be one’s guard. Should you find yourself lulled by a pixie’s trickery, call out for Breac-na-Tól’torr, who shall guide you back to safety with his silver-bright trident.
- No Raiders fans allowed! Unless you pay the beer tax ;)
- No human women allowed! Once you’ve witnessed the otherworldy beauty of a mermaid, you’ll be forever spoiled, and “real” women will pale in comparison. Mermaid hair sparkles like starlight, and their voices carry the grief & gladness of a hundred human lifetimes. Though we can never truly be together, humans and Oin’Sídh, that makes the brief companionship all the more sweet. I have heard rumors, however, that a human found worthy can cross over to their world, becoming like them and leaving mankind behind. I know not what is required; some tales say bravery, some only true love, and still others whisper of a banshee’s curse. But, for Caoilfhoinn-ní-Lir, I would brave a thousand trials, if it meant I could finally live by her side.
- Any problem with the rules? Refer back to rule #1!