As the #1 destination on Medium for all-things humor, and think-pieces on cats, Slackjaw wouldn’t be what it is without you, High Warlock of Funny Ideas. That said, we do accept submissions from humor writers of all backgrounds and extraterrestrial lifeforms.
If you’re interested in submitting a humor piece to Slackjaw, please email email@example.com with a private link to your unpublished Medium draft.
Please keep in mind…
- Our pieces fall under 1,000 words. Less is better. But not too less. Most pieces are 300–750 words.
- We publish funny writing: premise-driven humor pieces, humorous essays, illustrated and cartoon pieces, and occasionally comedic fiction — if it feels right. We don’t publish fake-news/Onion-style pieces.
- To get a feel for what we like, please read Slackjaw. Then check out our trending pieces and greatest hits.
- Send us an unpublished, private Medium draft. Attachments and pasted texts scare us!
- Current Slackjaw writers, and new writers, should email all drafts to firstname.lastname@example.org.
- We ask our writers to submit Medium member (gated paywall) pieces. This ensures that you get paid and reach more readers with Medium curation.
- Only one submission at a time, please. Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t multitasking robots.
- Expect a reply in one to two weeks — sometimes more, sometimes less — depending on the alignment of Earth’s rotational axis with the business hours of your local Costco.
If your piece fits, we’ll add you as a writer and publish it.
A note on writer pay…
We believe in paying all Slackjaw writers so that they can purchase coffee, groceries, extra bitcoin, and those cool bouncy balls you find in toy stores. We pay on every Slackjaw piece, via Medium’s partner program (free to join). Some stats:
- In the Sept./Oct. 2019 pay period, our top-5 earning pieces made their authors: $755.54, $501.79, $210.38, $189.44, and $103.20
- These were the organic Medium earnings for these pieces, all paid directly to the authors.
- Although these were our top-earning pieces, we commonly publish stories that earn the author $20-$50+ per piece.
We get way more submissions than we can publish. To improve your odds…
- Give your piece a clear and funny or interesting title that will make readers go, “That sounds cool! I’m clickin’, baby!”
- Good title example: “Things My Therapist Says to Me That I’ve Also Said to My Kids While Teaching Them to Ride Their Bikes.”
- We like pieces with a clear humor premise in the title and first paragraph. We’re allergic to long, unfunny preambles. We have a doctor’s note on this.
- Also, it wouldn’t hurt to read these: “Top 10 Short Humor Writing Mistakes,” by Alex Baia, and “Your Humor Piece Needs Way Less Explanation Than You Think It Does,” by sarah james.
Farewell and prosper,
The Slackjaw Editors (and Matthew McConaughey)