Hello To My New Georgia Neighbors!
Howdy, neighbors! I’m so excited to move to Georgia. I’m moving here because I really want to live in Georgia, and not at all because there is a double special election that will determine control of the entire US Senate, and new residents are allowed to register to vote. No — it’s because I love Georgia.
The air down here just feels freer, you know? Back in Boston, the liberal elitism was so stifling: I couldn’t even buy a coffee without the barista asking if I wanted real milk or oat milk! Now that I can work remotely because of the pandemic, I realized that the weeks following November 3, 2020, were the perfect moment to live out my lifelong dream of moving to Georgia, forever.
I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Josh — I mean, Christopher. Definitely not a Jew, see? Christopher. Incidentally, I am not only not Jewish, but also very Christian. And I want real milk, because I’ve never even heard of lactose intolerance.
By the way, which one is my mailbox? I’m expecting some important documents soon. I just don’t want it to get mixed up, you know, in case I get some sort of really important document in the mail that I have to return in person or via mail by January 5th, or postmarked by January 5th and received by January 8th.
That’s a very nice giant Trump 2020 flag hanging there, more than a month after the…
