Hey, Neighbor! I’m The New California Transplant!
I’m going to casually slather your real estate market on my body like department store lotion samples.
What’s up, Denver!
I don’t know if it’s the altitude or the weed, but I am so high right now! Oh my God, am I the first person to say that? Feel free to use it. It’s just a little sample of that famous California creativity I brought to Colorado with me in my new Subaru with a roof rack. Consider these quips a hostess gift, which are polite to bring to the cities that we Californians are now swarming like locusts. It’s my way of saying thanks for letting my family come and take little sips and nips from your low-cost-of-living buffet.
Enjoy that witty banter, because I’m going to be using a lot of public resources in my first year. I’ll need your park rangers to come rescue me no fewer than three times because I cannot drive in snow. I’m used to a more Mediterranean climate, you see. Yes, I’ve been to Tahoe at least thirty times, but the snow there just comes across as more elegant or something.
So… Bryce, was it? Brandon? It doesn’t matter, bro. I’m looking for signatures on my petition. I’m allergic to dogs (well, not so much allergic as I don’t like them). I really think we should be banning them from…
