Hi, I Went To Princeton

It’s no big deal, just something I mentioned three seconds after meeting you.

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So nice to meet you! Did you know I went to Princeton?

I probably didn’t even need to tell you. I’m sure you noticed the word “Princeton” on my baseball cap, even if you missed it on my sweatshirt.

Go Tigers! Sorry, that’s something I’ll shout periodically in case someone in another room of the party can’t see my baseball cap or sweatshirt.

How do you know Tyler? I know him from Princeton. I’m sure you’re good friends with him, though not like the friends he made at Princeton. All my friends are old classmates from Princeton, because we forged such enduring bonds there, and not because people who didn’t go there find our talking about it insufferable.

It’s not just my friends who went to Princeton — it’s also the alumni business contacts who hired me because my resume was so impressive, especially the “colleges attended” section.

I met my wife there, so we’re a Princeton family. Our house is painted in the school colors, crimson and yellow. I see you’re not wearing any crimson or yellow, not even on a pin or pocket square. You’re not wearing any pocket square, which significantly lowers the odds that you went to Princeton.