Holden Caulfield Reviews Plant-Based Proteins
Hooray Foods Awesomer Plant-Based Bacon
This bacon is about as close to pig as chewing on a damn football. The name is pretty crumby too. Awesomer? You’ve got to be a madman to name your product that, I mean it. It’s a helluva thing when someone makes up their own word to peddle a phony bacon product. I guess this plant-based bacon crap might work on a BLT if you had some first-rate bread and top-notch tomatoes. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for it, I don’t know.
Impossible Burger
Lousy! The only thing impossible about this burger was goddamn terrible it tasted. Honestly, you never tasted something so bad in your whole idiotic life. Eating this burger depressed the hell out of me. Afterwards, I went outside to take a walk and I don’t know, to just try to feel better, and then it started raining. Terrific.
Simulate Spicy Nuggs
Nuggs — another word that annoys me. What kind of slob goes around referring to nuggets as nuggs? You’d have to be crazy to do something like that. People who say nuggs ought to be locked up and lobotomized. I had a class with a guy who went around saying crap like that and everybody hated his guts. I will say, the size of the nuggets were pretty nifty. I liked the way you can just pop them…
