How Do I ♡ Thee?
With one emoji for lattes and ideal grace
I ♡ your new haircut. I ♡ your photogenic coffee/footwear/offspring.
With fleeting hesitation, I ♡ the allegedly unfiltered pic of a rotting rowboat on a mossy bank, and the brisk political rant in twenty blurry screenshots.
♡, ♡, ♡ that puppy. And the tattoo. As in: ♡ reaction, then the actual word “love” in all caps with interstitial periods, then a heart-shaped exclamation point. That’s high-density ♡, a little neutron star of noncommittal affection.
I will ♡ your message. I will ♡ your comment. I will ♡ your text. I will ♡ it when you ♡ my message, comment, or text. But I cannot ♡ the semiotic minefield that follows. If/when we land on a perfectly acceptable “THX,” it seems hyperbolic to react with ♡, but churlish to react with 👍, which breaks the ♡ momentum and could be seen as a gesture toward ending an exchange grown tedious, as it undoubtedly has.
I’ve considered eschewing ♡ entirely, or in all but the most obligatory circumstances. Because once you start ♡-ing some things, you feel Scrooge-assed dispensing a mere 👍 for others. This worry is compounded by knowledge that your ♡-reaction life can be easily monitored, fanning latent resentments. I admire those with the discipline to use ♡ sparingly, and trust that they do so from equanimity rather than smug aplomb.
If ever a void cried out for fulfillment, it would be the callously underserved niche between ♡ and 👍.
Distress over the ♡-👍 dialectic has led me to react with 😮 more often than authenticity would permit. I express 😮 for things that 😮 me, but I also claim 😮 when confronted with ethical quandaries, conflicting emotions, or sheer pictographic ennui.
👍 is easy — as easy as neutral-to-good news, birthday greetings, sunsets, and light traffic. But not as easy as when there were no other options. When there were no other options, everyone felt the same awkward limitations when 👍-ing something insightful about something abhorrent, or 👍-as-acknowledging news of an illness/stalker/climate disaster.
Perhaps best of all, there was no expectation of ♡.
In fact, every time a new reaction is released into the social-verse, users are confronted with an almost paralyzing web of strategic decisions, fueled by our mammalian instinct for survival via group acceptance. It seems reactions, emojis, and emoticons (a dying, under-appreciated art if ever there was :-< ) are not immune to subversion or complaint.
I have no desire for subcategories of ♡, or the additional decision-making stress they would swiftly usher. Yet I can’t help but entertain candidates such as tough love, unrequited idolatry, hugely intrusive infatuation, stealth pheromonal waft, friendzone frisson, classical agape, Disney-sanctioned lust, revenge commitment, universal bliss, and hyper-regrettable hookup.
I ♡ what I ♡, and what I fear not to ♡. I ♡ to varying, unspecified depths. I 👍 more things than I honestly 👍. I am disproportionately 😮-ed. I ♡ to 😆, and to 😂. I 😢, at times. At times, I 😠 but am slow to 😡 unless ♡-starved.
And I take heart, for I have witnessed moments of reactional maturity rooted in reflective grace. How could you not ♡ that? Let me count the ways.
