How Moving In With My Boyfriend Made Me Realize He Is Stuart Little
To be fair, it’s a very easy thing to miss.
The rumors are true: I officially moved in with my boyfriend. While it may seem fast, we both agreed we were already spending so much time together that it only made sense. So far it’s been a pretty smooth transition, but I must say I’ve started to notice a few things about him that I hadn’t before. I definitely wouldn’t have flagged these minor nuisances if we weren’t sharing an apartment, so honestly, it could be nothing… but still. For example:
He squeaks
I never thought much of it, and frankly, I always assumed it was just his little red Converse on the linoleum floor. But now that we live together, I hear squeaking even when he’s walking over to the kitchen in his socks. What is it? Some sort of hiccup? I know when you live with someone you learn about all their little tics, like how I always hum when I cook, so it’s probably me being nitpicky and just one of his “things.”
He hates cats
I always knew he wasn’t a huge cat fan, but moving in with him has really solidified that. When I mentioned that having a pet would be nice and cats are so independent, he started shaking so violently that I thought he was having a seizure. Then, on Sunday, we watched The Godfather, and when Don’s cat came onscreen he let out a bloodcurdling scream. Like okay, point made, we won’t get a cat. I don’t mean to have high expectations, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask to not wake up our neighbors every time a cat appears on our TV.
His parents were squished to death by a can of soup
Moving in with someone can really deepen a relationship, so I knew it was a big step when my boyfriend sat me down and told me his biological parents were squished to death by a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup. I felt honored he trusted me with something so personal. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder: was this a very large can of soup? A value size with 5,000% more in the can? Or was it a large stack of cans Saran wrapped together? I felt bad being skeptical while he was so vulnerable, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t send off warning sirens in my mind.
He is small
This took me a while to realize, but my boyfriend is very small. The truth is I don’t really see height, and I thought the tiny steps up to the couch and the bathroom sink were just unique design choices. I guess I should’ve noticed his size the time I accidentally dropped my gym bag on him after I came home after a long day. It wasn’t on purpose — I was exhausted! Now that I think about it, none of my exes would’ve been trapped under my gym bag for 3 hours. This is so toxic. Why am I comparing my boyfriend to my exes and how long they would be trapped under a lightly packed duffel anyway?!
He is a mouse
After taking some time to reflect and truly being honest with myself, I have come to the conclusion that my boyfriend is, in fact, a mouse. I know this for sure because I recently asked him “Are you a mouse?” to which he replied “Yes.” It was then that I knew he was Stuart Little. I knew because I asked “Are you Remi from Ratatouille?” and he said “No, he’s a rat. I’m a mouse. I’m Stuart Little.”
Moving in with your significant other can really change your perspective on who you’re choosing to share your life with. But for us, it has only made us stronger.
