Jun 10, 2020
How To Design A Website When Your Content Is Worthless
Five user experience techniques to exploit
People say “content is king,” but who has the time to actually do good work? If you’re anything like me, you’re sick of making stuff for your website that people will care about. Luckily, there are tons of ways to design a user experience that obscures and distracts from your worthless content! Below, I’ve compiled the five most common (and therefore the best) ways to make sure your website — not your content — stands out.
1. Make sure visitors are confronted with your FREE e-book about the EASY way to make money online with NO EFFORT before they can see your site.
This is your first line of defense. Most people visiting your site are probably used to your particular brand of crap and have already downloaded How To Build 10 PASSIVE INCOME Streams Overnight. But new visitors might not even know you have an e-book. So you better tell them about it upfront, before your site gives them an inkling of how worthless it will be.
Bonus points: Hide or obscure the close button and/or disable the escape key.
2. As soon as the site loads, make sure a loud, poorly-animated video ad for a health supplement begins playing automatically.
Auto-play videos demonstrate to visitors that you know what’s best for them. Plus, showing them an ad for something they don’t want, followed by your least-bad video content, is likely to keep them from looking at the worse content on your site. If you don’t have a partnership with a supplement company yet, go with political ads or mobile game ads instead.
Bonus points: Enable picture-in-picture so Diamond Jungle Kingdom: Street Racing Warrior 3 follows and distracts the user as they scroll down the page.
3. Ask visitors to enable browser notifications.
It may seem small, but when you have content to obscure, any additional dialog box you can throw at the user is worthwhile. So take this opportunity to create a false sense of connection with your visitors. Make it vague, too — they don’t want to have to think about why you would want to send them notifications. People just love clicking “yes” and “ok.” That’s why, when signing up for a new service, most people check the box next to “yes, I would like to receive twice-daily email updates about cat food discounts.”
Bonus points: Ask them to share their location too.
4. Make sure that when the user moves their mouse back to the top of the browser, another large box pops up and begs them to stay.
This may seem counter-intuitive at first, because it actually keeps visitors on your site longer. But remember, they’ve already given up on you at this point; this is just a bid to monetize their attention for an extra quarter-second, which is definitely worth it. The secret sauce behind this technique is that it makes visitors feel like you’re watching them. They love that. Plus, who isn’t nostalgic for the good old days of pop-ups?
Bonus points: Use this opportunity to promote the e-book you wrote in the last 15 minutes, How To Write An E-book In 15 Minutes.
5. Design your site for mobile devices only.
It’s high time to fully alienate users who refuse to ditch their desktop and laptop computers. (Can you believe those dinosaurs?) Preventing these so-called “professionals” from having a pleasant experience on your site will both keep them from seeing your work and help them transition into the mobile-only future.
Bonus points: Ask mobile users to install an app for your site instead of viewing it in their mobile browser.
These five techniques should be more than enough to ensure that no visitor ever has a chance (or desire) to interact with your content. So go update your website now!
If you liked this piece, please click here to download my FREE e-book, How To Make Six Figures On Medium With ZERO Effort!
