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How To Dom A Bag Of Cadbury Mini Eggs
A holiday BDSM guide in 31 steps
1. Dress in your best black suit.
2. Go to the grocery store. Hunt the Cadbury Mini Eggs. When you find them, tower over the display.
3. Take your time observing the eggs. Say nothing. Let them feel the cold of your shadow.
4. Select a bag, but do not touch it. Sneer at the bag.
5. Bring your face close to the bag. Tell it how worthless it is. Let the bag feel your breath. Again, do not make physical contact.
6. Mutter: “The safeword is ‘Holstein-Friesian cattle.’”
7. Leave the bag and continue shopping.
8. Return to the bag twenty minutes later with a full cart of items that deserve you.
9. Take your bag off the shelf. Hide it somewhere on your person, beneath the suit and next to your skin.
10. Check out, but do not pay for the Cadbury Mini Eggs. Just take them, because they are worthless, and they are yours.
11. Forget the bag in the trunk of your car upon arriving home from the store.
12. Retrieve the bag a few hours later, under cover of night.
