How To ‘Reply All’ To Show You’re The Hardest Worker In The Office

Emails like “Congratulations!” “Thank you!” and “I agree!” shouldn’t have just one recipient.

Ryan Fan
Ryan Fan
Nov 27, 2020 · 2 min read
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They’re the two best words to show off your work ethic in an all-staff e-mail: reply all.

You should be hitting reply all on every e-mail you send. Sure, it might come off as cringey. Sure, it might come off as annoying. But you need everyone, including all your bosses and co-workers you’re battling with for a promotion, to know you’re the hardest worker in the office.

The first couple times you reply all, feign technical difficulties. Apologize, using reply all, and inform them you didn’t know you could reply to just one single person.

Since your office and workplace have shifted to remote, you need to dominate the remote workspace. People need to know when you’re doing good deeds and helping others, or else what’s the point? Make sure people know you’re the one to go to when they have questions on how to open a Google Doc, or how to convert a word document to a PDF. Make sure you’re the one who can teach your older, more technology adverse colleagues how to use Google Sheets like a boss.

Once everyone else starts replying-all, you need to up your game. Start replying-all to e-mails you have absolutely no business replying-all to. That means emails like “Congratulations!” “Thank you!” and “I agree!” shouldn’t just have one recipient — they should be sent to the whole staff. Reply all to every possible e-mail to show your boss you read your e-mails and are absolutely on top of your shit.

Note: your reply all e-mails must become increasingly less professional. What started with a “Congratulations!” must be followed up two minutes later with the laughing and crying emoji.

When you’ve started a trend among the staff of everyone replying all, reply all to remind people of e-mail etiquette and how reply all e-mails should be used only when necessary. If it gets really out of hand, reply all asking to be removed, and tell your staff that their reply all habits are a disrespectful waste of your time.

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Ryan Fan

Written by

Ryan Fan

Believer, Baltimore City special ed teacher, and 2:40 marathon runner. Diehard fan of “The Wire.” Email: ryanfan17@gmail.com. Support me: ko-fi.com/ryanfan

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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