How To Use Your Musical Theatre Degree In Everyday Life
When thinking about the most practical college majors, Musical Theatre might not be the first one that comes to mind. However, be not mistaken — there are a plethora of ways your triple threat training can come in handy out in the real world!
At the Doctors
A routine checkup is a great opportunity to apply your vocal training. When asked to “say ah,” bust out that sweet, sweet high note from The Phantom of the Opera. Without a doubt, this will be the most impressive “ah” they’ve heard all week! You’ll walk away with a clean bill of health and, more importantly, a new “fan.”
At the Gym
Exercise is scientifically proven to release endorphins. You know what else releases endorphins? Showing off! Stand front and center during yoga class and repeatedly touch your toes with ease, “stunting on” the inflexible bozos around you. Thanks, four years of 8 AM ballet! Throw in some splits if you’re feeling “extra,” which you definitely are. People may have come to class to feel centered, but they’ll leave knowing how talented you are, which is the true meaning of “namaste.”
Running Errands
Use your daily tasks to dust off all those dialects you spent an entire semester on. Morning coffee run? Order your latte in your best Braveheart Brogue. Buying groceries? Ask, “’Ow much for zees baguette, s’il vous plait?” Mailing a package? Tell the clerk, “G’day mate, I’d like to send this to a Sheila in Sydney, OY.” *Note — it will be very expensive to mail said package to Australia, but your training taught you that art is nothing without sacrifice.
On Social Media
Apply your education to go instantly viral on TikTok — make up a “hot new dance trend” that’s actually just the original choreography from A Chorus Line. Gen Z will be none the wiser!
Applying for Jobs
Your BFA qualifies you for more positions than you might think, such as top real estate agent at a high-end firm. All you have to do is pretend the interview is your sophomore year acting class final and deliver as many lines from Glengarry Glen Ross as you can remember. You’ll ace the interview just like you aced the class, even though you have no idea why “coffee is for closers!”
For the holidays
This Christmas, give your family the greatest gift of all: a framed headshot of you. Heck, don’t be stingy — give them to your friends, enemies, and anyone you come into contact with as well! You printed, like, 500 in senior year, and throwing them in the trash just feels wrong. Want to unload even more? Use them as wrapping paper, too!
At Social Events
View every party you attend as an opportunity to steal the spotlight. At karaoke night, hijack your bestie’s mediocre rendition of “Don’t Stop Believin’” with your otherworldly harmony skills. At your cousin’s wedding, upstage the bride with your legendary cha-cha slide. At your dad’s retirement party, make a “speech” that is actually just you screaming, “Look at me look at me look AT MEEE!!!” over and over. For all the world is not just a stage, but your stage.
Leaving Social Events
On the flip side, being the star of so many parties can be draining, and sometimes you just don’t have the energy to say your proper goodbyes. Luckily your dance training can help you Irish Exit like a pro — throw on your fishnets and fedora and “Fosse, Fosse, Fosse” your way on out. Everyone will be too confused and afraid to ask questions, trust me!
While Babysitting
You’re guaranteed to be a hit with your nieces and nephews when you ask if they’d like to sing, “Let it Go.” Proceed to blow their asses out of the water because they are like five and clearly NOT classically trained, thank you very much. *Side note, do not let Peyton participate in this sing-a-long — she is a pitchy, flat mess that not even you can salvage.
As Self Defense
Did you know your tap shoes can double as weapons? The next time you’re witnessing a bank robbery, try out this classic one-two punch: do an old-timey whistle and say, “Over here, Mr. Bad Guy!” then burst into the tap break from “Singin’ in the Rain.” They’ll be too dumbfounded to realize what’s happening as you proceed to hitch kick them in the face. “What a glorious feeling,” indeed! *For added “kick,” replace the taps with knife blades.
In the Bedroom
If you’re looking to spice up your next date night, try this: show up wearing a massive trench coat and seductively whisper, “Guess what I’m wearing underneath?” Before they have time to guess, “nothing?” reveal your full-length unitard from your senior production of Cats, which you’ve held onto “just in case.”
