I Am A Stock Image Of A Sunset And I Am Tired Of Being Your Inspirational Quote Fodder

Shannon J Curtin
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readOct 22, 2019

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Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Hey. It’s me, sunset stock image from page one of the google image search. I see you. I know what you’re about to do. You’re about to throw me into an app and add some shitty saying that “blew your mind” or “made you realize what’s important” or some equally tired fake revelation.

What I want you to do is stop. Don’t devalue me. It’s not my job to teach you how to not be an insensitive asshole, but you’re still throwing trash in the ocean while the ozone layer thins, so I guess I’ll have to go to work on this.

Listen, I get it. I appreciate the nod to my overall aesthetic. You and your wimpy mortal limbs can never come close to the majesty of a celestial body sinking behind the horizon and that makes me some sort of pin-up for your dopey brain. I know you think it is a compliment that I am the most inspiring image you can come up with after .03 seconds of thought, but really? It’s just condescending. You need me to sell your crappy quote to your friends on Facebook because half of them can barely read, but they’ll click “like” because I’m right there tickling their dopamine receptors. Dude. Can’t you see how shitty that is for both of us?

And I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but you’re not the only one who has plucked me from the internet treasure trove for this same exercise. There are a…

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Shannon J Curtin
Slackjaw

Poet, essayist, and humor writer. She holds an MBA, competitive shooting records, and her liquor. She would probably like you.