I Am A Stock Image Of A Sunset And I Am Tired Of Being Your Inspirational Quote Fodder

Shannon J Curtin
Oct 22 · 3 min read
Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Hey. It’s me, sunset stock image from page one of the google image search. I see you. I know what you’re about to do. You’re about to throw me into an app and add some shitty saying that “blew your mind” or “made you realize what’s important” or some equally tired fake revelation.

What I want you to do is stop. Don’t devalue me. It’s not my job to teach you how to not be an insensitive asshole, but you’re still throwing trash in the ocean while the ozone layer thins, so I guess I’ll have to go to work on this.

Listen, I get it. I appreciate the nod to my overall aesthetic. You and your wimpy mortal limbs can never come close to the majesty of a celestial body sinking behind the horizon and that makes me some sort of pin-up for your dopey brain. I know you think it is a compliment that I am the most inspiring image you can come up with after .03 seconds of thought, but really? It’s just condescending. You need me to sell your crappy quote to your friends on Facebook because half of them can barely read, but they’ll click “like” because I’m right there tickling their dopamine receptors. Dude. Can’t you see how shitty that is for both of us?

And I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but you’re not the only one who has plucked me from the internet treasure trove for this same exercise. There are a billion of you idiots and more and more teenagers every damn day. It is exhausting. I am tired. Everyone thinks they’re being ~*so original*~ and I just can’t take it anymore.

You know, I never agreed to this in the first place. You all just assumed, “oh, sunset, she’s so nice and pretty and steadfast” and before I know it I’m relegated to a blurred background image for new Taylor Swift lyrics in some vague-book post by that girl from your high school who still works at CVS and over plucks her eyebrows.

I am worth more than this.

I am the image that embodies the never-ending cycle of life and death, light and dark, the eternal routine of this entire solar system. I am a god damn photo of a sunset and you think you can make me more inspiring by putting some stupid insta-poem on top of my glorious image? Are you insane? My beauty is not yours to “improve” upon with your unfortunate misuse of apostrophes.

Why don’t you find someone else? Maybe an image less majestic?

I hear the rainforest is pretty popular these days. Maybe the ice caps?
See, not so “nice” now, am I?

Don’t make me tell you again.

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Shannon J Curtin

Written by

Poet, essayist, and humor writer. She holds an MBA, competitive shooting records, and her liquor. She would probably like you.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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