I Am P.P Cummings, The Butter-Sculpting Legend
It’s time for me to tell my story.
it has come to my attention that my brother (e.e cummings) has become very famous
GRRRRR (i am furious.)
i am p.p cummings, e.e cummings’s estranged brother,
and i too am deserving
of
fame.
i am the most talented butter sculptor (of the americas)
but no one knows
or
cares
because poetry is loved by all*
and butter-sculpting is loved by none*
(*=of the super lame people)
BOOOOOO!!!!!
it is easy to write sentences that don’t make sense.
but can u make a life-sized queen elizabutterbeth?
thought not!
what about a machu pibutter?
thought NOT!
when e.e write in lowercase (because he is illiterate) he is awarded and praised,
but when i commit arson out of pure unmedicated rage (because my butter melted!!) i am arrested and shunned
enough!
just like in our childhoods
when i was ten and made the great wall of butter of china
my mother ignored my artwork
scolded me for the rest of the day
because my hands were covered in butter and
stealing butter from the kitchen isn’t (“good behavior”) for (“the occasion”)
so making a butter tower isn’t appropriate at a funeral
but reciting a poem is ?
?????????
the double standard (double standard) is repulsive (repulsive)
writing poetry is not even that hard like
look at the verse i so nicely wrote for e.e
“i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my butter) i am never without it (i always have butter) anywhere
i go you go, my cream (you are made of butter) and whatever is carved
by only me is your doing, my dairy”
wow
only few can capture those emotions
yet he called it childish and immature
IMMATURE!
i always understood the poet lifestyle (smoking cigarettes and being boring)
but e.e never understood what it is like
to hold a butterknife in your hands,
to make that first slice,
like a mother in labor
e.e wrote words on a paper
i carved cities of gold
e.e held pencils and pens
i held the life of thousands
he may have been a silly little poet
but me?
i am a god.
it is time
i beat him at his own game
in this weird and unnatural writing style
that is
CHILDISH AND IMMATURE
you would never know the difference (between my writing and his)
e.e cummings was not what you think,
he never had the power, the passion, the patience
to even make a butter house
i am p.p cummings,
e.e cummings’s substantially more important brother,
and i will speak
my
TRUTH!
