I Have Designed My Own Cryptocurrencies. Feel Free To Buy In

SlapDropTM
Each SlapDropTM is drawn with foodsafe marker on a graham cracker and then scanned and emailed to you, so your SlapDropTM is completely unique. A SlapDropTM can never be rescanned and resent, because my son Charlie eats them.

DigiAU
This is digital gold for the digital warrior in the digital age. To get a piece of the DigiAU all you need to do is stare at your computer screen for 8 hours a day. This is called “mining.” Those hours can be converted to DigiAU by using a phone calculator. To redeem DigiAUs, drop your phone repeatedly on the ground.

Hulu Logins
Each Hulu Login is worth 1 Hulu Login.

RippDollar
We know you can’t capture ocean waves, but each of these is currently (at the valued stock price at opening bell on December 16, 2017) worth 18 waves. These are the most valuable cryptocurrency, as waves are extremely popular tattoos.

LeanErOutErs
LeanErOutErs© are a good investment and have a steadily climbing value in the stock market. They can only be redeemed for empty LeanCuisine trays that have that burnt cheese still in the bottom. They’re currently valued at 1 LeanErOutErs© per .78 trays.

Green Snugs
These can only be traded by shouting into a tin can located on the southwest corner of 19th st. and 11th ave.

HashYEggs
This is hashbrowns and eggs. It has a high hash rate and can easily be eaten with ketchup.

Nancy-Bucks
These are currently each worth 5 hugs from Nancy! They’re all in fun pastel colors that Nancy made in an ‘intro to graphic design’ class. Any purchases made can be tracked in a block-paper-chain of Nancy-Bucks and can be used to make a classroom or hallway more festive.

PcktCng
This is a bunch of pocket change that can be traded. There is an introductory buy-in cost of $13k to begin trading in PcktCng, but unfortunately there is currently no way to retrieve it. We’re working on this issue but don’t foresee a conclusion in the near future.