I Know The Menu Says No Substitutions, But Does That Still Apply If You’re Here Alone On Your Birthday?
Really miscalculated what fifty-five Facebook-event “Maybes” would translate into.
I am ready to order, thank you. No need to wait for the other nine people, as I think I have overestimated public interest in my birthday and miscalculated what fifty-five Facebook-event “Maybes” would translate into. I will keep occupying this ten-top, though, as I already took off my coat.
No, it’s fine. I’ll order. Tell me, if your crush, let’s call her “Emily Perez, CPA,” had said, “Oh, cool, happy birthday, you. Yeah, I don’t know about tonight; I’ll try, though,” and she smiled and went back to typing as you staggered away without your voice cracking again or further drenching her desk with more palm sweat, you’d say that’d be like, what, a ninety-percent chance Emily Perez, CPA, shows?
If I order now and she shows up, does it seem like I gave up on her tonight and, thus, gave up on our entire potential relationship and my fantasy of raising a golden retriever together upstate? I am hungry, but what I’m really starving for is purpose and intimacy in my life. That said, though, I really am quite smitten with the sound of these Celebration Chicken Tenders.
