I Like My Men Like I Like My …

Photo by Alex on Unsplash

I like my men like I like my seasonal depression: year-round.

I like my men like I like my grandma: somehow always packing a $2 bill.

I like my men like I like the letter Y: literary, curious, comes at the end of When Harry Met Sally.

I like my men like I like my surrendering armies: no red flags.

I like my men like I like my favorite Jeopardy! clues: potent, potable.

I like my men like I like my IKEA trips: knows to go straight to the downstairs, but never on Saturdays.

I like my men like I like my flies: big eyes, always rubbing his hands together, tiny poops.

I like my men like I like my friend who for some reason mispronounces the word “it” as “it’s”: always saying it like it is.

I like my men like I like my dogs: big enough to scare off the bad guys, but small enough that I can dress him up in fun little sweaters.

I like my men like I like Madonna’s ex-husband trying out comedy: a stand-up Guy.

I like my men like I like my owls: wise, wearing glasses, graduated college.

I like my men like I like my crayons: bright, colorful, smells like crayons.