I Love Your Podcast, But Why Does The Female Host Keep Talking?

Has your female co-host ever heard of the dangers of vocal fry?

Grace Smith
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readMay 1, 2021

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An adult man with a pensive expression and spiky black hair is sitting at his Macbook laptop, wearing white earbuds.
Photo by Jozsef Hocza on Unsplash

To: Mitchell Henshawe of the Pod Goals Squadcast
Subject: I love your podcast! Some notes…

Greetings, Mr. Henshawe!

I only subscribed to your podcast a week ago, and may I just say — wow! I’ve already listened to your entire backlog, including the early episodes that you’ve since apologized for. Unfortunately, there’s one thing holding you back from becoming a top dog in the podcasting revolution like Conan O’Brien: your female co-host keeps talking!

Has your female co-host ever heard of the dangers of vocal fry? I can explain it to her, if you send me her email address — for some reason, it’s not publicly listed.

I figured you’d want my expertise — I am an accomplished podcast listener and I know about some obscure stuff (have you ever heard of My Brother, My Brother, and Me?). Together, we can save your future fans from the 50% unpleasant listening experience I had!

My notes:

1) I haven’t spoken to a woman in over a year (because of the pandemic) so I might be forgetting what they sound like, but your female co-host’s voice is often too high — “shrill” is the word I’d use. But at other times, her voice is low, like she’s trying to sound like a man? She should have confidence in her femininity!

2) Whenever you make a point, your female co-host feels the need to respond. Not sure if she’s read up on conversational styles like I have, but there’s a style called “silent supporter” she may want to look into.

3) Sometimes your female co-host reminds me of my former secretary, whom I fired for sounding unsure of herself on the phone. This is more of a comment than a suggestion.

4) Your female co-host will sometimes change her mind (like when she admitted olives “aren’t the worst”), which feels a tad flaky.

5) Your female co-host can sometimes be very stubborn and won’t change her mind at all (like when you brought in that intriguing flat earth theory), which feels a tad bitchy.

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Grace Smith
Slackjaw

Comedy writer. Currently in Toronto, originally from Halifax. Regular contributor for The Beaverton.

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