Member-only story
FOR LOVE OR PEANUT BUTTER
I Went Speed Dating So You Don’t Have To
But this speed dating was supposed to be “different”…
Non members click here to read the story for free.
Many years ago, a company which shall not be named because I can no longer remember what it was called — and because I’m guessing they are no longer in business — was blowing up my Instagram ads. Every time I opened the Gram, there it was. “Matched Speed Dating!”
Matched speed dating? I wondered. What the hell is that?
I could just picture them, studying my browsing history, rubbing their hands together excitedly as they selected their next victim. “She’s perfect!” they would have exclaimed, as they laughed maniacally at the tragic state of my love life. “She’s just desperate enough to think this could be different.”
“Matched” speed dating was supposed to be superior to blind speed dating, because you would fill out an online dating profile ahead of time so they could match you with people who shared your interests at the in-person event. That sounded like a good idea to me, but I also bought a Shake Weight off a TV ad once, so sometimes my judgment can’t be trusted.