I Will Not Be Attending My High School Reunion. And No, This Isn’t About The Hot Dog Thing
When I graduated high school in 2012, I felt everything you’re supposed to feel when you’re 18 and a chapter closes — sadness that the way of life you know is over. Relief that you didn’t mess up your future too badly. Excitement for the new way of life you will have. Nervousness that you can still mess up the rest of your life. I had a perfectly normal, lovely high school experience despite what Marcus Covatelli might be telling people. But I closed that chapter and haven’t looked back since.
So when I got the email invitation for my 10 year high school reunion, I wasn’t sure what to do. And not just because my senior year I tripped on a hot dog in the hallway that Marcus planted with everyone watching and fell into a garbage can full of hot dogs. Sure everyone has an embarrassing moment that they cringe at, but that’s NOT why I didn’t know what to do.
Everyone has a fantasy of showing up to their high school reunion and rubbing it in how much hotter and more successful they are now than when they were that age. How high school was the ONLY TIME they struggled to get out of a trash can full of hot dogs while everyone including Mrs. Roberts shouted “Glizzy Lizzy.”
But that’s not a good reason to go to a high school reunion, and not what I want to do there.
No one I would see at this reunion is thinking about me. They’re not remembering who I had a crush on or the fact that I struggled in those hot dogs for so long that they got into every pocket of my backpack, coat, and jeans. That’s NOT what this is about. I’m just also not thinking about them.
As I was debating going, I realized I’m just not somebody who ever looks back. I never think about how for the next two weeks hot dogs would fall out whenever I opened my backpack and I got sent to the principal’s office for constantly being disruptive. TRUST ME Mr. Lyons, if I could have stopped this from happening I would have.
But really I’m just like a shark- I need to keep moving or I’ll die.
So it was a little bittersweet to RSVP no to my high school reunion. Will I miss out on the voyeuristic opportunity to spy into the lives of people who I spent the first 18 years of my life with? Sure, a little bit. But will I miss the banal questions like “What do you do now?” or “Remember when you were voted prom queen and everyone voted a hot dog in a little suit named Oscar as prom king and you had to slow dance with him until you started puking from how badly you were crying?” No. And I’m NOT AFRAID of that question either Marcus.
I have a new life now in a new city with a new phone number where NO ONE can leave me voicemails of the sound of two hot dogs slapping together. HOW does Marcus keep finding my phone number? I am NOT afraid of Marcus Covatelli and if he sees this I don’t even care. He has taken everything from me. I have nothing left to lose. I will fight him and I will win. I will punch him in that stupid little maw of his and shove hot dogs down his gullet until his body is 70% dog. Let’s see how he likes THAT motherfucker.
So no, I will not be there and I have made peace with my decision.
