If Your Love Life is Described by Dragon Ball Z

If your love life is described by Dragon Ball Z, you and your SO spend too much time talking and not enough time doing. Like how villains in Dragon Ball Z ramble about how amazingly powerful they are before they actually try to destroy the world, you and your SO go on and on about how you’ll make mad love to each other tonight like a pulpy porno, instead of actually doing anything.

If your love life is described by Dragon Ball Z, the power struggle is real. Like how the heroes in Dragon Ball Z keep attaining previously unattainable amounts of power to beat an ever-more-powerful villain, you and your SO always try to one-up each other — flirtatiously, of course. “Ha! I can cut this pear slightly better than you!” “That’s completely right! BUT, I found this dollar bill under the car!” “Great job, honey!”

If your love life is described by Dragon Ball Z, you and your SO have glommed into one entity. Like how Goku and Vegeta can fuse together into Gogeta, who speaks with a voice composed of two voices talking at the same time, you and your SO order food by completing each other’s sentences. “We want two burgers.” “Medium.” “Do we want onions and pickles on the side?” “Yes.” “And two colas, with three ice cubes each.”

If your love life is described by Dragon Ball Z, everybody knows you. Like how people who don’t claim to be anime fans know at least something about the series, you and your SO keep running into strangers who recognize the both of you as that famous lovey-dovey couple. “Oh yeah! I saw you guys ordering burgers the other day.”

If your love life is described by Dragon Ball Z, no one is surprised to hear you’re still going. Like how yet another Dragon Ball (Dragon Ball Super) came out recently even though the first one came out when you, now a full-fledged member of the workforce, were only three years old, you and your SO are still going strong even after all these years, referring to yourselves as “we” and flirting maddeningly in front of strangers and friends alike. At this point, it’s the same old story, and though they may make fun of your relationship sometimes, many folks think it’s nice to have something so grounded in these ever-changing times.