If You’re Reading This, Then It Means I Died From Holding In My Farts At Work All Day

Janelle Blasdel
Nov 6 · 4 min read
Photo by Helloquence on Unsplash

To whom it may concern:

If you’ve found this letter, then I must be dead, and I’m afraid I know why. The farts I’ve been holding in at work all day have finally burst through my insides and caused massive internal bleeding. I knew this day would come, I just didn’t realize how soon.

You've completed your member preview for this month, but when you sign up for a free Medium account, you get one more story.
Already have an account? Sign in

Janelle Blasdel

Written by

Chicago writer, improviser, ad copywriter | Contributor to McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, The Haven, and more | Twitter: @janelleblasdel

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade