I’m 35 Years Old And I Want You To Know That I’m Still Fun

Marcela Onyango
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readMay 26, 2020

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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Hey, I just turned 35, and I’m still fun. There is a common misconception that people stop being fun once they turn 30. Not me. I wake up every morning at exactly 6 AM and I go to the bathroom. From there, things get off to a pretty exciting start. Once I’m in the bathroom, sometimes I poop first, other times I shower first. See how fun I am? I can switch things up at 6 AM in the morning. Just when you think I’m going to go shower, I go poop.

When I’ve completed my showering or pooping, whichever I do first, you’ll never know ’cause I’m fun and unpredictable, I make my coffee at exactly 6:31 AM. I know making coffee sounds lackluster and monotonous, something that a boring 35-year-old would do, but not when you use a French press… bam! A French press is something that only fun people are accustomed to or have ever seen. My use of the French press refutes the false assumption that people in their 30s are boring because they use boring technology to make coffee.

Once the coffee grounds have been sufficiently soaked in the scalding water in my extremely fun French press, I pour it into a mug at exactly 6:40 AM. But not just any mug. This mug has my initials, but not just my initials — my initials written in flowers. The initials say, “Hey there, I’m fun,” but the initials in flowers say, “Hey there, I’m 35 and fun.”

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