I’m Keeping My Maiden Name And It’s Not Because I Already Monogrammed All My Throws
Look, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with taking your significant other’s last name, but personally, it’s just not for me. If you want to take your husband’s last name that’s totally cool, but no woman should have to. As nice as Haley Marie Lebowitz sounds, I have decided to keep my maiden name Haley Marie Hubbard, and it’s not because I already monogrammed all my throws.
Yes, I know this might upset Kyle’s parents, but honestly this is my decision and not anyone else’s. Besides, what makes a man’s family name more valid than a woman’s? Am I only defined by the men in my life? I have my own identity and I feel lucky to be with someone who encourages me to embrace that, regardless of whether or not I already monogrammed all my bath towels “HMH.”
Some people might argue that marriage is about becoming a unit, and while I agree with that I don’t believe that means wiping away who I am as an individual. I’m not saying taking your husband’s name is wrong, and if I felt differently I would gladly change the last letter on my adjustable door wreath hanger from “H” to “L.” However, keeping my maiden name feels right for me, and that’s all that matters. Plus Pottery Barn discontinued that adjustable door wreath hanger last winter and frankly hangers of that quality are hard to come by.
Honestly, it’s a bit silly how this is such a big deal in the first place. It’s 2019 everyone!! It’s not like if I don’t take Kyle’s last name his parents aren’t going to give us a castle and an army of knights sworn to protect us. This isn’t the Middle Ages, both Kyle and I have our own identities and our own careers with full time jobs which is why I don’t have time to re-monogram all of my burlap liners and pillow cases.
Not that this has anything to do with it, but I plugged in Kyle’s last name into a monogram generator and it just… isn’t working. The “HMH” on all my wine glasses and luggage tags looks so classy — each “H” seems to act as a bookend for the flawless curvature of the “M” in its effortless Piranesi font. The stroked wings of the “M” paired with an unwavering “H” on either side seem to symbolize a crest meaning both valor and peace. Even the Pottery Barn employee when I picked up my order said it was “the most elegant embroidered dish towel she’d ever seen.”
Do I love Kyle? How is that even a question? Of course I do, that’s why we’re getting married! Keeping my maiden name has nothing to do with what level of love I feel for him, and whether my robe says “HML” or not is not going to make or break our marriage. The fact that Kyle and I see eye-to-eye on the idea that our relationship is not defined by the patriarchal expectations society has put on couples is one of the many reasons I’m marrying him and keeping my monogrammed doormat. Also I really took advantage of that Pottery Barn sale last fall and am starting to doubt they will have a discount like that anytime soon.
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