I’m Protesting The State Of Our Nation By Having Marginally Less Fun This 4th of July
I’m not going to sugarcoat it — things are looking pretty grim for our country. Gas prices are up, stocks are down, and the Supreme Court has stripped women of their most basic of human rights. So after much deliberation, I’ve decided that I cannot in good conscience celebrate the 4th of July as I have in previous years. With the state of our nation being what it is, it just wouldn’t feel right. So in solidarity to all those affected by recent hardships, I have decided I’m going to have marginally less fun this holiday weekend.
For starters, I’m taking aim at big oil by making some subtle changes to one of my favorite 4th of July traditions, tubing behind my father’s speed boat. More specifically, I am going to stay completely within the wake the entire time. With the average gallon of gas hovering at around $5 dollars, I feel that staying in the wake and not doing my usual routine of cool tubing tricks is really the only way to adequately show my dissatisfaction with the state of things. I have already warned my father that this year he will not experience the joy of seeing me do my usual tubing tricks, which include holding the tube with one hand and closing my eyes to feign boredom. He’s also been instructed to not exceed 15 mph when driving. If my younger sister, who will be sharing the tube with…
