I’m The Doctor That Keeps Getting Phoned By The Mother Of The Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed
[Phone rings]
Hello, this is Dr. Pradeep. I see. Your son was jumping on the bed, fell off, and bumped his head? He was monkeying around again? Haha, that’s a good monkey joke. You sure have a funny bone! Haha, that’s a doctor joke. Anyway, from what you’re describing, he doesn’t seem to be concussed, so I suggest he not jump on the bed again. Simple prescription, right? You have a good night too, ma’am!
[Phone rings]
Hello, this is Dr. Pradeep. Again? He fell off the bed again? Wait, a different child of yours? How uncanny. Why don’t you FaceTime me?
Well, I see no severe injuries. So, the good news is: she is okay. The bad news is: she won’t be if you don’t follow my instructions hereafter. No more monkeys jumping on the bed! Yes, jumping on the bed is dangerous! Unprompted, it can lead to head trauma. It can also lead to a defective mattress… which can lead to back pain… which can lead to death. No, that’s not a doctor joke. Alright, good night, ma’am.
[FaceTime call rings]
Hello, this is Dr. Pra — You’re kidding. ANOTHER kid fell off and bonked his head? You’re lying! Only three minutes have passed since we last spoke. Hold on — how are you…
