Imagined Interactions 11-Year-Old Me Had With Sylvester Stallone
Bored in the backyard of my childhood home, 11-year-old me decides to try and climb a tree that is not that tall and should be pretty easy to climb. With the utmost confidence, I place my hand on one of the branches and try to use my legs as leverage on the trunk, but my Adidas Tmac 2 basketball shoes cannot gain any traction. I regroup and try again, but on the second attempt, my hand slips from the branch, leaving a small scrape on my palm. Tears begin to well up in my eyes.
Suddenly, I hear a twig break behind me and turn on a dime. Standing there in my backyard in his full mountain climbing gear is none other than Ranger Gabriel “Gabe” Walker, Sylvester Stallone’s character from Cliffhanger. “Hey kid, I was noticing you trying to climb that tree,” he says, donning his signature black tank top from the film’s poster.
“Oh great, now you think I’m a big baby,” I say. He laughs, “No way, I was thinking about how tough you are. A lot of guys would have cried a lot more hurting their hand like you did,” he says, muscles glistening in the mid-Michigan sun. “As you know, I lost my girlfriend Sarah in a climbing accident in the beginning of the film Cliffhanger. That’s why I believe in climbing in pairs at all times.”
