Installing A Wheelchair Ramp Will Ruin The Historical Beauty Of McRacist Hall
We must put a stop to this reasonable request before it’s too late!
My fellow alumni,
An assault is happening on our beloved campus, namely against McRacist Hall. It has come to my attention that some entitled snowflake students believe that they should be able to enter a building where they have classes. This is getting out of hand!
Erected in 1842 to honor our university’s Founder and first President, Erasmus T. McRacist, this building is the crown jewel of our campus. The building’s 14 steps are symbolic not only of our school’s first class of 14 white, male graduates, but they also hint at the legend that when a woman applied for admission, Dr. McRacist laughed for 14 minutes straight until his assistant administered him some ether to take the edge off.
When I think of this gorgeous building that was repainted gold in the 1970s and is still insulated by asbestos, it breaks my heart to think about a ramp ruining its hallowed exterior. What if, in order to accommodate this “small concrete ramp that is legally required,” they move the statue of our Founder that stands directly in the middle of the 14 stairs? Why, as a young student in the Greek system, every time I walked by the statue of Dr…
