Is It A Court ‘Date’, Or Are You Just Friends?
I mean, they are weirdly keen on you being there…
It’s a day that every girl dreams of, from their very first time getting behind the wheel under the influence: you’ve got your court summons. And better yet, its that hunk from the third district court, Judge Simmons. Va-va-voom! You’ve had the hots for him ever since you first locked eyes with him from behind the wheel of your Kia Sorento, biting your lip and tucking your hair behind your ear as you reversed over his dog. But how do you know if he’s really interested in you? Here are our top five signs for judging if he wants to lock you down for life and make Miss Trial into Mrs. Trial.
1. Has He Indicated an Interest in You Already?
Sometimes dates can come out of the blue, but a lot of the time there are signs that a judge might have you as a person of interest. Has the court really dug into your past and gotten to know you before asking you out? A big green flag is when the judge has collected little mementos of yours to keep, like a lock of your hair or a buccal swab. If he hasn’t, don’t despair, as love — much like the early stages of criminal proceedings — is all about discovery.
2. Is it a Solo Event, or a Group Hang?
Sometimes judges get a little shy about announcing their feelings outright, so they try to take the pressure off by inviting their friends to be tried alongside you. It’s a class action, but not a classy act; you deserve to be wined and dined properly and receive his undivided attention. Take a stand and don’t share it with anyone else! Especially don’t bother if he tries to bundle you up with ‘the People’ — I can’t tell you how many hours I wasted a courtroom waiting for the judge to address me before I realized he was just interested in that hottie O.J. Simpson at the front of the room.
3. If He Wanted To, He Would.
Let’s face it, the chase is part of romance and men, especially elderly court justices, thrive off of it. So make him work for it a little bit! If he just wants to bring you to court, chances are he’ll give up after the first time you miss your hearing. But if he wants to court you, then he’ll go to the ends of the earth to make this thing happen. Next thing you know, a private car is coming to your house to pick you up for your date, putting you in handcuffs (if he’s doing this at the start of the date, just imagine what he’s going to do at the end of it!), and bringing you to your own semi-private room with full catering and a toilet. Get used to the good life, sister, because if the prosecution is to be believed, he wants to treat you to this for the rest of your life.
4. Don’t Be Scared to Make the First Move.
It’s 2024 after all, the defendant is allowed to make the first move too! So why not find the judge online and go and introduce yourself? This can be in person if you’re bold, but over the phone if you’re shy. You can even use a voice changer if you’re a little insecure.
5. Be Respectful but State What You Need
You don’t want to come on too strong, so play it cool and let the judge know that you’re looking forward to the case and that you want to make sure everything goes well, for both of your sakes. He’ll appreciate the thought and might even move your date up because he’s so excited!
