It Doesn’t Matter If You’re A Republican Or Democrat, Please Stop Punching Me In The Face
How did we get here?
This country used to be a place where we found ways to get along regardless of differing beliefs, and now you’re out here punching me, a total stranger, in this IHOP parking lot just because I stole a few bites out of your food when you weren’t looking. Really? You can see what this political climate is doing to us.
The biased media has forced two people, who likely would have been best friends in a past era, to have such a big disagreement on something as small as eating food off your plate without asking. I can’t wait to see how the local news spins this one.
And all this fighting for what? Just because I waited until you went to the bathroom, slid into your booth, and shouted, “Flapjacks always taste better when they’re not mine!”?
Can’t a man sit down in an IHOP and snag a sample of someone else’s short stack in peace anymore? Suddenly everyone has a hard stance on whether or not it’s okay to steal pancakes from a stranger when they’re not looking. We should have never let politics get between us like this.
Back when I grew up, we had a sense of decency and respect for one another. Now everyone resorts to insane requests, like “Sir, please stop drinking directly from the syrup spout.” Then why would they make the syrup spout the perfect size for putting your lips right up to it and gulping down that sweet sauce? It is such a difficult time to be an American.
All of a sudden, people have been attacking my personal liberties with everything I do.
Just last week the park rangers tossed me out of the park, claiming it’s “illegal” to release my pet alligators into the creek. Let’s act like mature adults about this and allow me to offload all of these exotic pets, even if the creek does run alongside a children’s daycare center.
Then, the Department of Homeland Security added me to the No Fly List since they disagreed with my belief of carrying my samurai swords on me at all times. This is what we’ve come to? Such a divided nation.
I don’t blame any of them for getting so mad at me: I blame politics. It’s pitted us against one another. It’s all “who did you vote for” this, and “why are you so open about doing illegal things” that. I believe deep down we can get through this treacherous time and learn to get along again, but it’s going to take love and kindness towards each other. To teach you that punching me over pancakes is rude, I’m going to settle this the American way and fill your gas tank with sand when you go back inside.
