It Is The Near Future, And Competitive Gamers Are The Most Popular Kids On Campus
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY — DAY
Our hero, a dorky, muscle-bound hunk of ripe teenage male flesh, CHAD BRAUN, walks down the hall, meekly carrying a stack of books.
CHAD (V.O.)
I know what you’re thinking. Who’s the dork in the stupid letterman jacket? What’s with the hair? No one’s worn a fade since, like, 2018. Well, that dork is me. Chad Braun. Captain of Ridgedale High’s football team, in the year 2055.
BOOM! The books he’s carrying hit the floor. He looks down into the intimidating bespectacled eyes of HAROLD PARK and TERRANCE MCPHAIL, the two coolest, toughest kids on campus, captain and vice-captain of the school’s competitive StarCraft squad, the PWNers.
Chad’s entire 6 ft 4, 205 lbs of pure muscle quivers.
CHAD (V.O.)
And in the near future, being the captain of the football team means that I’m getting my ass kicked, well, let’s just say… quite often.
HAROLD
Watch where you’re going, Jock-Noob!
Harold takes a foamy sip of near-future Monster Energy Drink before licking his braces clean with a spittle-soaked tongue. Terrance scratches the eczema patch on the back of his neck.
CHAD
Sorry, Harold.
HAROLD
We’ve got State coming up in two weeks, noob, and no one is gonna stand in our way, not even those wussies from St. Michael’s. You hear me?
TERRANCE
Yeah. Comprende, CHAD?!
Chad’s tight, un-stylish jogger pants are nearly wet with fear.
CHAD
Of course. Your gaming prowess pays for the school’s other programs, football included. Everyone knows that.
HAROLD
You’re darn right it does.
Just then, a blonde girl in a PWNers cheerleading outfit, MCKENZIE COOPER, walks up to them in SLOW MOTION. Chad’s eyes widen.
CHAD (V.O.)
There she is. McKenzie Cooper. The most popular girl in school and my next-door neighbor. McKenzie and I have known each other forever, but she barely even knows I exist. I’m basically invisible to a girl like McKenzie Cooper.
Harold and Terrance strut over to McKenzie.
HAROLD
Hey, babe.
MCKENZIE
Oh, hey, Harold.
TERRANCE
Hey, McKenzie.
MCKENZIE
Hey, Terrance.
McKenzie and Chad lock eyes from across the hall, but Chad quickly averts his gaze. McKenzie smirks.
HAROLD
How’s about you and me drive up to the plutonium quarry tonight after practice, and we can look at the Sector-6 star nebula? I have my dad’s glider.
MCKENZIE
I don’t know, Harold. I have a lot of homework to do tonight, and besides, I’m flunking football class. My parents say I need a tutor.
HAROLD
You can run your silly little offensive plays any old night, honey. It’s not every day you get asked out by the captain of the PWNers!
TERRANCE
Yeah, football can wait, sweetheart. This is Harold Park! He has the best PvP skills in the whole county! Heck, the best PvP skills in the whole—
Harold
Shut up, Terrance. She heard you the first time.
Harold leans against the locker.
HAROLD (CONT’D)
So, what d’ya say, sweetheart? How’s about taking a ride in this captain’s starship?
McKenzie glances over at Chad, who is sulking like a melancholic little gorilla.
MCKENZIE
Sorry, Harold. Maybe another time. I think I just figured out how to get my A in gridiron.
Harold snorts, tossing his bowl-cut hair away from his thin-rimmed prescription bifocals.
HAROLD
Whatever, babe. There’s plenty more where you came from.
TERRANCE
Plenty more.
McKenzie saunters over to the hulking, pathetic, herculean frame of wimpy jock Chad.
MCKENZIE
Hey, Chad.
She touches his firm, ropey bicep.
CHAD
Oh, h-h-h-h-hey, McKenzie Cooper — I mean, McKenzie.
MCKENZIE
What are you up to tonight? Wanna help me cram for my gridiron test tomorrow? I need all the help I can get with my offensive tackles, and I hear you’re the best tight-end on campus, Chad.
Chad shrugs bashfully.
CHAD
Oh, I don’t know about that, McKenzie.
NEAR-FUTURE POP MUSIC plays.
(BEGIN MONTAGE):
INT. MCKENZIE’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
— Chad teaches McKenzie how to tackle, by suplexing her onto the bed.
— McKenzie, in full near-future football gear, takes a running start and head-butts Chad flat onto his back.
— She takes off her helmet and shakes out her golden hair. Chad smiles coyly, his fat lip bleeding profusely, multiple teeth now missing and/or cracked.
CHAD (V.O.)
As McKenzie and I spent more and more time together, we realized that, like, we actually had like, a lot in common, or whatever.
END OF MONTAGE.
END OF ACT ONE.
