It’s Dry January — Here Are 7 Reasons To Give Up Your Bidet
The New Year is here: A moment to reset, refocus, and reassess your butthole.
One increasingly common resolution is going “dry” for the month of January, not by cutting out alcohol consumption, but by giving up your bidet — also referred to as “Dry-Ass January.” For a few reasons to reconsider your relationship with your rear end, read on:
1. You overdid it during the holidays
While it’s fun to partake in treats throughout December, all those festive foods contain way more dairy and sugar than your digestive system can handle. Thus you probably spent the better part of Winter Break on the john, letting your junk jet do all the dirty work. This month might be a good time to allow things downstairs to air-dry so you don’t develop a pruny pooper.
2. You’re looking to develop healthy new habits
Perhaps you’d like to hit the gym more, take a yoga class, or get more hours of restful sleep. Consider, then, that your regularly-scheduled “Crappy Hour” might be taking up too much of your day. A switch to good old toilet paper, like the Charmin Ultra family of products, could encourage quicker bathroom breaks and fewer hours spent showering your shart shooter.
