Jolene, I Changed My Mind. You Can Totally Take My Man
He bores me to death, but I’m afraid of confrontation.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you, please come take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please come get him Thursday if you can.
His beauty is beyond compare
With decent cock and no back hair
With cute foreskin and eyes of dully sheen.
His smile is like the dumbest thing
His voice? Flat echoes of an empty brain
And I can’t stand him anymore, Jolene.
I talk about you in my sleep
There’s nothing I can do but weep
When thinking how I cast you out, Jolene.
And I could easily understand
Why you would gladly skip my man
But we both know that you owe me one, Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you, please come take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please come get him Tuesday if you can.
To be recited during instrumental:
Let’s get real, Jolene.
You were awful, Jolene.
Like that one time when you used your mother’s cancer just to get a pity fuck from him.
Remember that, Jolene?
Oh, I remember… Jolene…
I’m glad your mom is well now, Jolene.
But, Jolene… you were a bitch.
So be a doll now. Do the right thing for once,
And take his pretentious, man-bun wearing, nature-loving, coconut oil vaping ass off my hands,
Jolene…
I might not get another man,
But neither can I stay with Brad
’Cause he’s driving me insane, Jolene.
I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you, please come take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please come get him presto if you can…
“Presto” is Italian for “super fast”, Jolene.
Jolene…
Jolene…
Jolene…
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