Judgment-Free Blueberry Muffins
These muffins don’t give a crap.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. You can use a solar- or wind-powered oven or an energy-guzzling, planet-trashing oven. We’re judgment-free here. Do whatever resonates with your soul.
Combine two cups of flour, a cup of sugar, two teaspoons baking powder, and a quarter-teaspoon of salt. No one cares whether you sift the flour. You can pay extortion prices for gluten-free flour, if you want. We’re not going to tell you that your gluten-sensitivity is bullshit, the way Joslynn did.
In a separate bowl, combine one cup milk, one stick melted butter, two eggs, and one teaspoon vanilla. You can go free-range on the eggs or not; you don’t have to justify yourself to Joslynn or anyone else. Use whichever kind of milk you like. You can use almond milk. You can use soy milk. You can hitchhike to a Sacramento ranch and milk a yak. These are judgment-free blueberry muffins.
Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients and add two cups of fresh or frozen blueberries. The blueberries don’t have to be organic. There are no rules. Go ahead and wear a cold-shoulder top or skinny jeans. Get messed up on cocaine and mescaline while you bake. No one will judge you.
Scoop the batter into twelve buttered muffin cups. It’s okay if you stored ponytail…
