Kohl’s Said It Was My LAST CHANCE To Take 20% Off
Now my family is missing
They said it so many times that I guess I didn’t think they’d really do it? I should have taken more seriously the use of all caps in the subject lines, the emphatic punctuation. There were messages like, Tick Tock… Take an extra 20% before time runs out and Your 20% savings ENDS TONIGHT!!!
There’s no one to blame but myself. I got into this game, even though I knew it was rigged. The prices were marked way up so that the sales looked like BIG SCORES. But I genuinely thought I could out-play the system, and it was hard to stop when I was rolling in that Kohl’s Cash.
I hit ROCK BOTTOM prices when I accepted the offer for 50% more rewards with a Kohl’s card with a bonus of 35% savings and a $10 off of $30 coupon. The lure of 105% off my next purchase was intoxicating, as was the Mango Ice Cream Yankee Candle in the clearance area. I was taking offers I couldn’t refuse, even shopping at the bricks & mortar store. Who does that?
Thankfully, a member of my mom’s book club spotted me and intervened, explaining that, yes, some things were cheap, like dog bandanas, but the small kitchen appliances in my cart, could be purchased for the same price elsewhere. I squinted at the iPhone 8 screen she showed me. “The fuck?” I said, even though I already knew…
