Let Me Tell You About My New MLM, The Borg

I know what this sounds like, but let me assure you — The Borg is not a pyramid scheme!

Image by ando.video, licensed by the author.

Hey Girl!! 💁🏻‍♀️

I know we haven’t talked since high school, so I wanted to check in on you!! I saw you post something devastatingly personal about your mother’s health on Facebook today, so I thought it would be a great time to send a message about an incredible opportunity that might just be a really good fit for you!

I have joined THE BORG! Yes, it’s true!! I’ve been assimilated ❤️ It’s honestly the best decision I have ever made. All my life I have been searching for a hive-minded tribe like this and I have finally found it! I love being part of a team that is truly building a perfect galaxy together, and I think you would love it too!! 👯‍♀️

I am so thankful 🙏🏻 that I no longer have to work a regular 9–5 job. I’ve taken back my power and I can work on my own terms, basically every single hour of every single day! ⌚️ You can work constantly without ever lifting a finger. You simply plug in to our existing network, which has been proven successful again and again.

All you need to do is assimilate. It’s so so easy. Nanoprobes do all the work for you — just forcibly inject them into your new teammate’s bloodstream and the…