Letter From The Alumni Association That Tracked You Down
You tried to get away from us, didn’t you?
Greetings, Class of 2012!
It’s been a while since we reached out to you. Maybe you moved, or changed jobs, or got married. The good news is we found you.
We will always find you.
You can delete your alumni account, unsubscribe from our emails, block our texts, move to a foreign country, get plastic surgery, and burn off your fingerprints. The CIA won’t find you, but the Alumni Association will. That’s how much we care about even our most cunning and evasive graduates.
Remember all the money you gave us for tuition, housing, books, and food when you attended our university? That was just the beginning of a relationship that will never end. The school’s new motto is, “We Are Your Future,” which captures the inescapable bond we have with our students. (Our second choice was, “You Can Run But You Can’t Hide.”)
Our alumni network is a unique community of over 14,000 graduates keeping track of each other’s whereabouts. Since 1891, our alumni have taken personal responsibility for the success of the university, driving stakeholder involvement to make impactful changes to our multi-billion-dollar endowment.
