SATIRE
May God Have Mercy On Your Souls: A Millennial’s Guide To Gen Z
These snarky killjoys are about to take a crap on everything you love.
So, Millennials, I hear you’re in a feud with Generation Z. You might think as a Gen Xer, I would be enjoying a taste of schadenfreude at your expense right now. I’m not. You see, I spent the last year locked in a house with my children; children very much like those currently taunting you on TikTok. I feel your pain.
To be frank, you may never be up for this battle, but I’d still like to help. Since forewarned is forearmed, I’m going to share everything I know about the snarky, cynical wet blankets known as Gen Z.
1. Theirs is a subtle cruelty.
Since they don’t use body type, gender, nationality, or sexual orientation as shorthand insults — even ironically — they got creative. Gen Zers use their observational skills and imaginations. They look deep inside your soul at the broken, silly, insecure parts. And poke until it hurts.
You parted your hair wrong. Who gives a shit? You, apparently. And somehow, the little psychopaths knew you would.
