Memento-Style Reminder Tattoos But For Navigating Dirty Dishes
HOMECOOKED FOOD IS NICE TO EAT
YOU DON’T CARE FOR DOING DISHES
WARNING: LADY ROOMATE PERSON WANTS YOU TO DO DISHES
DO NOT GET IN ARGUMENT WITH LADY ROOMATE ABOUT DISHES: DANGEROUS!
SPEND FOUR HOURS FIGHTING OVER FOUR-MINUTE TASK
FACT 1: BRUSH WITH BUILT-IN SOAP NEVER HAS SOAP
FACT 2: HIDE DISHWARE IN CRAZY RANDOM PLACES — DRIVES LADY ROOMATE MAD
FACT 3: BUY YOURSELF SOME TIME BY LETTING DISHES “SOAK” OVERNIGHT
FACT 4: PAPER PLATES ARE YOUR FRIEND
FACT 5: PROCRASTINATION IS YOUR SOULMATE
FACT 6: DOORDASH IS YOUR SALVATION
GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT TABLEWARE I CANNOT EVADE, COURAGE TO DELAY THE INEVITABLE UNTIL FUMING LADY ROOMATE GIVES ULTIMATUM, AND WIDSOM TO HATCH AN ELABORATE PLAN WHERE I EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF A THOUSAND ANGELS BECAUSE MY DAYS OF DOING DISHES ARE GONE FOR GOOD.
IF IN DOUBT, REFERENCE SELF-PUBLISHED 1001 EXCUSES NOT TO DO DISHES
SOURCE OF PROBLEM SEEMS TO BE LADY ROOMATE, DEFINITELY NOT YOUR UNWILLINGNESS TO HELP OUT
GO TO ANY LENGTH TO NOT DO DISHES, INCLUDING FAKING HAVING ANTEROGRADE AMNESIA AND HAND-TATTOOING BODY WITH SEWING NEEDLES
STICK WITH AMNESIA STORY IF CHALLENGED AND POINT OUT HOW ABSURD IT WOULD BE TO GO TO THE LENGTHS OF TATTOOING YOUR BODY IN ORDER TO GET OUT OF DOING DISHES, SAY TO LADY ROOMATE “LISTEN TO YOURSELF, HAVE YOU GONE MENTAL? HOW FAR GONE ARE YOU? SERIOUSLY, YOU BELONG IN A LOONEY BIN FOR THE WAY YOU’RE BEHAVING.”
BEWARE: RUNNING OUT OF SKIN FOR TATTOOS, CONSIDER BREVITY MOVING FORWARD
LADY ROOMATE WANTS TO KILL YOU
UH OH, YOU HAD TO KILL LADY ROOMATE
YOU ARE IN PRISON NOW
UPSIDE: TATTOOS ARE WELL-LIKED BY CELLMATE
DOWNSIDE: WARDEN ASSIGNED YOU TO DISHES DUTY IN MESSHALL
YOU ARE GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT WASHING DISHES
