Messages I’ve Sent On Tinder Or Facebook Marketplace?

Phil Gillen
Nov 6, 2020 · 1 min read
Illustration by Renee Rober

1. Hi :) Yes, definitely still available.

2. In pretty good shape, barely ever touched

3. Hey, just checking in because you said that you were really interested last week, but I haven’t heard from you. Did you change your mind? Happy to address any questions or concerns you might have!

4. Bed bug free

5. Are you willing to come to Jersey?

6. Showing signs of age, but still gets the job done

7. Awkwardly shaped and hard to handle, but a great conversation starter

8. Just checking in because we said 7pm and it’s now 8:15. Are you on the way? No worries if something came up, just let me know! I’m here all night.

9. Very cheap

10. Severely damaged on the inside, but the outside looks good enough

11. I’ve gotten interest from several different people. Will go with the person who can get here soonest. Can you come right now?

12. The best you’ll find during COVID

13. Totally understand that you’re still on the fence. Yes, I can definitely send more pics.

14. Ok, no worries! Do you know anyone else who might be interested?

Answer Key:
1–14: Both

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Phil Gillen

Written by

Phil is a Harvard grad, actor, writer, and comedian from Brooklyn. He hopes to one day play a character over the age of 18. Writing and comedy: philgillen.com.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Phil Gillen

Written by

Phil is a Harvard grad, actor, writer, and comedian from Brooklyn. He hopes to one day play a character over the age of 18. Writing and comedy: philgillen.com.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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