Militor: A New Prescription Drug From The Makers Of War

Noel Spangler
Slackjaw
Published in
2 min readJul 1, 2022

--

Man with plane overhead, excited to go to war
Image created from photos by Vlad Chetan and Inge Wallumrod on Pexels

Have you lost your appetite for battle? Do you wake up in the middle of the night wondering “When is this all going to end?”

If you answered yes, then you’re one of millions of Americans who suffer from Chronic Anti-War Syndrome (or C.A.S.) Individuals with this condition find it difficult to enjoy normal, everyday acts of war.

Luckily, there’s a medication that can help: MILITOR.

Developed by trusted experts at the Pentagon, Militor is a once-daily pill that’s clinically proven to stop anti-war symptoms dead in their tracks. The active ingredients in Militor target and destroy the passive cells in your body, while boosting militonin levels, so you’re constantly in the mood for battle.

Research shows that a single dose of Militor is five times more effective than both Top Gun movies combined.

Modified from image by diegobarruffa on Pixabay

Militor comes in easy-to-swallow, bullet-shaped capsules that provide fast-acting, pro-war relief.

Thousands of customers have experienced the benefits:

“After just one week on Militor, I was fired up and ready for World War III!”

--

--

Noel Spangler
Slackjaw

Noel is a New York-based writer and visual storyteller. His satire has appeared in Slackjaw, Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, and others.