Missing Mug Last Seen Inside 3rd Floor Conference Room


To: All Staff
11:05 AM
Subject: Missing Mug

Anybody seen my mug? I may have left it in the conference room on the 3rd floor. Thanks!

To: All Staff
11:10 AM
Subject: Re: Missing Mug

Never mind! Just found it in the trash. That’s the seventh time this month. Whoever’s doing this, please stop.

To: All Staff
11:18 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Missing Mug

So, a little bird just told me that it’s Rick from Accounting who’s been tossing it out this whole time. Let this be a PSA that Rick is officially a dick.

To: All Staff
11:32 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Missing Mug

Human Resources just told me that my last email was extremely unprofessional and that I should stop sending these emails since I already found my mug. Well, since I’m here already, I might as well state for the record that Steve from HR has been sleeping with Nancy from Payroll. Who’s unprofessional now, Steve?

To: All Staff
12:15 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Missing Mug

Looks like my badge stopped working and that I’m getting fired. Who would have thought that a missing mug would have started all of this? Not me, ha ha!

To: All Staff
12:30 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Missing Mug

While I’m packing my belongings, I also want let you all know that Frank from Sales is the one stealing Bill’s chicken vindaloo and Heather’s homemade Kombucha. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Steve and Frank should be transferred over to the Asshole Department.

To: All Staff
12:37 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Missing Mug

Security’s walking over now. I guess this is officially goodbye. Man, what a morning! If you want to stay in touch, my email is george.redford442@aol.com.

Feel free to also add me on LinkedIn.

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