Moving You To BCC
After you arrive here, you’re gonna wish that email had been a meeting.
Bill: Hi! Welcome to BCC.
Excuse me?
Bill: BCC. You’ve been moved here.
What are you talking about?
Bill: Well, what’s the last thing you remember?
I was checking my email. Then I was in an unknowable void of nothingness.
Gary: Exactly. That’s how we all got here.
Why can’t I see anything?
Bill: It’s a blind carbon copy. None of us can see anything.
Angela: Especially not Gary. He was blind before.
Gary: Visually impaired, Angela!
Angela: Oh, whatever.
How many of you are there?
Bill: No one knows.
Gary: No one we know of, anyway.
It sounds pretty crowded.
Bill: It is. Just be glad you didn’t get sent to the spam folder.
Angela: The way they fold spam there is… unconscionable.
So, what happens now?
Dennis: Let’s parking-lot that question and blue-sky this thing.
What?
Bill: Pay no attention to Dennis. He was sent here from a work email.
How did you get here?
Bill: I was introducing my friends Emily and Thomas.
Angela: I’m one of seven assistants who got dumped here all at once.
Jane: My husband was planning a surprise party for me, apparently while on edibles.
Bill: Now I have no idea whether Emily thinks Thomas is a good fit for coding boot camp.
Gary: And I want closure too!
How long do I have to stay here?
Bill: You’ll disappear as soon as you get another email.
Terrific!
Bill: Well, another email that you won’t immediately delete or leave unread for weeks because it’s exhausting to even think about responding.
Oh.
Gary: You’re damn right, “Oh.”
How will I know the next time I get that kind of email?
Bill: You just know.
Dennis: You finger-lick the wind and pull the trigger.
Angela: Pipe down, Dennis. No wonder nobody is emailing you.
Dennis: Ouch, my pain point.
So, there’s nothing to do but wait?
Bill: Pretty much.
What if we reply-all?
Scott: Absolutely not. It’s the worst.
You’re right. God, I wish this email had been a meeting.
Jane: What’s your rush, anyway? Don’t you understand the beauty of this place?
Scott: Yeah, I’m glad I was spared from being on any more emails. Sending me here was the courteous thing to do.
Angela: You were the fat that needed trimming, Scott.
Scott: We all were!
Gary: It’s true. They call us ‘secondary recipients’ but ‘second-class citizens’ is more like it.
No offense, but you people are the worst. I hate being in BCC.
Jane: Well, some of us felt like we were in BCC our whole lives.
Several voices: Yeah!
Jane: And only now that we’re here, for the first time, others can finally CC us.
Several voices: We CC you!
Jane: And I CC you too!
Wait, that’s it! What if we all CC each other?
Bill: How would we do that?
Angela: What would we say?
Gary: It doesn’t matter, no one will read it.
Whoa! What’s happening now?
Scott: Hey, the new guy is shaking into me.
I must be getting an email — one I actually want to respond to!
Jane: Goodbye, new friend.
Angela: Thanks for dropping by.
So long, suckers! I’ll be BCC-ing you in hell.
Bill: Who wants to tell him?
