Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood Association: July 2020 Meeting Minutes

Image Copyright: The Fred Rogers Company. (Fair Use)

Members present:

• Fred Rogers
• Lady Aberlin
• Officer Francois Clemmons
• Mr. McFeely
• Mrs. McFeely
• Lady Elaine Fairchilde
• X the Owl
• Henrietta Pussycat
• Chef Brockett
• Special guest Yo-Yo Ma

Members absent:

• Handyman Negri
• Robert Troll
• Purple Panda

1. Fred Rogers replaced his jacket and loafers with a cardigan and sneakers, calling the meeting to order. The fish were fed. Rogers announced the meeting was made possible by a grant from the Sears Roebuck Foundation.
2. Crime Watch. Officer Clemmons reported that the Museum-Go-Round remains the biggest call for service in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. Boomerang looting continues to be an issue, followed by theft of purses, backpacks, and WQED coffee mugs from the recent pledge drive.
3. Lady Elaine reported another round of Jew-demonizing graffiti on the museum walls, requesting $12 for spray paint to cover it up. Expenditure approved.
4. Henrietta Pussycat asked about meow meow fireworks every meow meow night. Officer Clemmons had no new information.
5. Lady Aberlin complained about Trolley speeding through the neighborhood and “blasting that [expletive] whistle” when normal people are sleeping. She recorded video, including Trolley’s license plate number. Officer Clemmons indicated identification wasn’t an issue as there is only one neighborhood trolley. He referred the matter to the Community Policing Team.
6. Yo-Yo Ma performed “You Can Never Go Down the Drain.”
7. MRNA rule violations, exceptions, and approvals. Lady Aberlin requested action against her uncle, King Friday XIII, for smoking Marlboro Reds on the castle balcony in violation of MRNA Rule 13.8. She has video. Discussion about the King’s royal status; determined that MRNA bylaws supersede monarchal authority. Motion to issue a warning letter and $250 fine passed by a 5–3 margin, Mrs. McFeely abstaining.
8. Henrietta Pussycat objected to the “eyesore porta-potty meow” next to Daniel Striped Tiger’s Clock. “Carnival over meow, why still there meow?” Lady Aberlin says she is certain a homeless man (or possibly Bob Dog?) sleeps there at night; she has video (grainy). Motion carried to turn the matter over to Handyman Negri.
9. X the Owl petitioned for an exception to MRNA Rule 28.c so he could paint an Owls Are People Too mural on the side of his treehouse. Chef Brockett reminded the board that it denied the Platypus Family’s request to build a Guy Fawkes Day bonfire. Officer Clemmons broke up ensuing fistfight between X and Brockett. Mr. Rogers reminded everyone it’s OK to have mad feelings, with accompaniment by Yo-Yo Ma. Petition denied 7–1, Mrs. McFeely abstaining.
10. Association Business. Lady Elaine asked for more contributions to the MRNA newsletter. No eye contact made with Lady Elaine. Mr. McFeeley reported a need for advertisers, suggesting Corny S. Pecially’s rocking chair factory as the only viable neighborhood business. Motion to strongarm Corny into paying for the newsletter passed 8–0, Mrs. McFeely abstaining.
11. The neighborhood garage sale will be Saturday. All puppets were reminded to wear pants.
12. Fred Rogers closed the meeting by reminding board members that they make each day a special day, “by just your being you.” He also paid his $150 fine for painting his mailbox without MRNA permission.

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